April Fool's Day Announcement Brings Practical Joke to an End

April Fool's Day Announcement Brings Practical Joke to an End

WASHINGTON  - In an April Fool's Day announcement that took the political world
by storm, the Republican Party revealed today that its entire presidential race
had been an elaborate prank.

"April Fool!" exclaimed former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and former
Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum at a press conference in Washington, where
they were joined by fellow merrymakers Newt Gingrich, Michele Bachmann, Rick
Perry and Herman Cain.

Moments after revealing that the GOP primary had been one long practical joke,
Mr. Santorum explained the rationale behind staging such a complicated and
expensive prank.

"A lot of Americans are suffering right now and need a good laugh," he said.
"I think my colleagues and I can be justifiably proud of the entertainment we
provided - even if it meant me wearing these ridiculous sweater vests."

Former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain agreed that the prank had gone well,
but added, "I'm just amazed that the American people never figured out we were
kidding."

"I mean, I kept saying '9-9-9' every four seconds, which was total and utter
bullshit," he said.  "And everything out of Michele's mouth made her sound like
a mental patient."

"True that," Rep. Bachmann agreed.

Texas Governor Rick Perry said he worried that "every time I screwed up at a
debate people would figure out I was pulling their legs," but added, "The
American people seemed to accept the idea that a Governor of Texas could be a
blithering idiot."

When one reporter mentioned that Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) was not at the press
conference, a sudden silence fell over the gathering.

"Did anyone ever tell Ron this was supposed to be a prank?" Mr. Romney asked.
"Holy cow, maybe he's really serious."